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Understanding disrespect towards women
Disrespect towards women is anything that makes a woman feel uncomfortable, unsafe, put down, or treated unfairly because she’s a woman. It’s pervasive. It’s targeted. And it often involves sexist and sexually harassing behaviours, like:
- making sexist jokes and comments
- interrupting, talking over, and speaking for women
- pestering a woman for dates and sex
- thinking or saying women ‘belong’ in certain roles
- using patronising language with women you don’t know (‘sweetheart’, ‘love’).
Where disrespect happens
Unfortunately, disrespect towards women can happen anywhere at any time, including:
- in bars, pubs
- on social media
- in workplaces
- on the street
- in sport
- on public transport
- at home or with family.
How doing nothing does harm
Research tells us that when disrespect towards women goes unchallenged, it creates a culture in which violence against women is more likely.
Taking no action about disrespect also:
sends the message that we’re OK with what was done or said
encourages people to keep being disrespectful
makes women feel they should just ‘take a joke’
stops women being themselves on social media
makes women avoid places where there are lots of men
makes women feel less safe
leads women to leave their jobs.
And while not all disrespect leads to violence, all violence starts with disrespect.
Change the story
Watch this video to get a deeper understanding of how disrespect towards women leads to violence against them in Australia.
The good news is that we can all do something about disrespect knowing it will make a difference.
Take positive bystander action
When we decide to do something, we set off a chain reaction that unites us and redefines what we as a society value and condone, and what we don't.
Most Australians want to say or do something to stop disrespect towards women but many don’t feel confident enough to take action.
But no matter how big or small, our actions can have an impact in preventing disrespect towards women.
When we take action to stop disrespect, we:
encourage people using disrespect to change their ways
show women being targeted that we support them
give others the confidence to take action
challenge sexism and sexual harassment
create a culture in which violence against women becomes less likely.
Bystander how-to
Show what’s not OK, support women, and speak up against disrespect.
Show it's not OK
- use your body language and actions to show your disapproval
- non-verbal communication can be an effective strategy.
Support women
- ask if she’s OK and let her know she’s not alone – in person, email, or in a message
- support women and people taking action online by sharing their comments and posts
- acknowledge the disrespect for what it is – sexist, harassing, intimidating
- save screenshots of disrespect (or emails and interactions) for reporting purposes in the future.
Speak up to stop disrespect
- focus on values, comments and behaviours rather than the person to keep it constructive
- use gentle humour to point out how outdated sexism is
- point out double standards, ‘Do you comment on male co-workers’ clothes, too?’
- respond to family members by drawing on family values
- know that whether you speak up at the time or days later, it still has an impact.
Managing resistance and backlash
People don’t always react how we hope. Maybe they don’t agree, don’t care, or get angry. But resistance and backlash are expected parts of any change process.
When talking to a person who is defensive or resistant, consider these tips:
focus on values, if facts aren’t working, find common values people can get behind, like family, fairness or safety, ‘Don’t you want your sister to feel safe when she’s walking alone?'
don’t take it personally, how someone reacts to being challenged is not a reflection on you
know when to stop, some people may never accept responsibility for their part in the change process. It’s OK to walk away and save your time and energy.
If things turn violent or abusive
Never put yourself at risk by intervening in violent situations. Instead, call the police on triple zero (000).
If you or someone in your life is at risk of violence or using violence, please visit the Help and support page.
Further information on how to support women
Disrespect towards women at work
Disrespect towards women at work can happen during virtual or in-person meetings, through email, or messaging apps. It can look like:
- interrupting, talking over or ignoring women in face-to-face and virtual meetings
- assuming women, regardless of their role, will always perform certain tasks such as taking minutes, taking coffee orders, and cleaning the office kitchen
- implying women don’t have the leadership skills to manage difficult workplace situations
- making sexist or looks-based comments about women co-workers
- attempting to silence women or dismiss their viewpoints by not inviting them to meetings or leaving them off email chains.
How to take action at work
show your disapproval of a sexist comment by shaking your head
support women by talking to your manager or HR
speak up when women are interrupted, ‘We didn’t hear her point; can we circle back?’
Disrespect towards women online
Disrespect towards women online happens in social media comments and messages, forums, and video calls and can include:
- trolling women on social media
- making sexualised comments and sexist jokes about women
- attempting to silence women because of their level of sexual attractiveness
- pestering women for dates and sex on dating apps.
How to take action online
show you don’t agree by posting eye-roll or thumbs-down emojis
support women and others doing something about disrespect by liking and sharing their posts and comments
speak up against disrespect by asking in the group chat, ‘I don’t get it, why is that funny?’
Disrespect towards women in public
Disrespect towards women in public can happen in bars and restaurants, parks and other public spaces, at live music events, sporting events, and on public transport.
It also happens in public waiting spaces, like doctor’s offices and airports. It can include:
- wolf-whistling and catcalling women
- directing questions about women to men who are with them
- getting unnecessarily close to women
- staring at women and making them feel uncomfortable.
How to take action in public spaces
show your disapproval of a wolf-whistle by shaking your head
support women by checking in and asking if they are OK
speak up, 'Hey mate, that's not appropriate'.
Related
8 minute read
Find information on the prevalence and nature of violence against women in Australia.
Find out more about the gendered drivers of violence against women and reinforcing factors.